


we are the marshmallows

by autumnchills



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 12 Days of Buddiemas, Buddiemas, Domestic Fluff, Eddie Diaz Centric, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Hot Chocolate, Humor, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Marshmallows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21755818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnchills/pseuds/autumnchills
Summary: Though they’d been arguing back and forth the whole time, Eddie loved it. He loved the way they poked at each other. Hell, he loved simply shopping with him. It was fun and easy, and though it was the first time they’d ever shopped together, it was the first time it wasn’t for food at the station, and it felt right— like they’d been doing this his whole life.Written for Day 2 (Hot Chocolate) ofBuddiemas
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 32
Kudos: 341





	we are the marshmallows

He’d made a huge mistake. 

Up until a week ago, and much to the dismay of Evan Buckley, Eddie Diaz had never watched The Polar Express. 

_ “I was seventeen!” he’d defended himself. “I stopped watching Christmas movies as soon as I knew that Santa wasn’t real.” _

Which was why he, along with Christopher, were forced to watch it with Buck. 

And now, not even twenty-four hours after watching it, he was being coerced into making hot chocolate with mugs as big as the ones in the movie.

“I swear,” Eddie says, eyeing the different brands of hot chocolate powders, “you are more excited for this than Christopher.”

“Forgive me, but this is my childhood dream,” Buck defends, “Do you know how many times I watched that movie and didn’t have a hot chocolate with me?” He picks up one of the boxes to look at. “Hey, this looks promising.”

“Childhood dream?” Eddie questions. “Weren’t you a teenager when that movie came out?”

“If your childhood ended when you became a teenager, then I need to have a serious talk with your parents.” Buck moves to put the box into the shopping cart, but Eddie sighs and snatches it out of his hands. 

“If we’re seriously doing this, we’re at least getting a better brand than—” Eddie pauses to read it over. “I’ve never even heard of this. I don’t trust it.” He slams it back into an empty spot, and by the noise that comes from Buck’s throat, he figures that it hadn’t come from that particular location. 

“What about this?” Buck holds up a white metal can, and Eddie eyes an all too familiar logo.

_ Starbucks. _

“Hell no,” he almost yells. “You’re killin’ me, smalls!”

“Oh, so you can watch  _ The Sandlot _ , but not  _ The Polar Express _ ?”

“First of all, that movie is a classic—”

“So is  _ The Polar _ —”

“Second—” Eddie shouts, totally cutting off Buck’s next words, “you really gotta let that go. I’m already going to great lengths for you.”

“For Christopher,” Buck corrects, a smirk playing on his face.

“Don’t make him your scapegoat,” Eddie shakes his head disapprovingly. “Christopher wanted this, but I often wonder who gave him the idea.”

Buck opens his mouth to deny the underhanded accusation but stops himself before he can start.

“Okay, so what’s wrong with these brands?” he questions instead.

“I’m looking for a specific brand of— oh ho ho,” Eddie cheers. “This is it.” 

Buck eyes the yellow packaging critically. “This isn’t even a powder,” he mutters.

Eddie looks to the ceiling muttering something that Buck doesn’t quite catch, then adds a much more clear, “Forgive me, Father, for I might just sin and beat the hell—”

Buck bursts into laughter and shoves at Eddie. “Shut up, man. What’s next on the list?”

Apparently, marshmallows. 

They find them on a different aisle, and Eddie reaches for the regular ones at the same time Buck reaches for mini ones.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Eddie mutters. 

“Listen,” Buck raises his hands in mock defense, “we can both set these down in the cart, and no one has to get hurt.” 

“Buck—”

“Okay, but hear me out. These are so much more fun to eat. They’re also easier to scoop into your mouth with the actual hot chocolate.”

“Like soup,” Eddie replies deadpan.

“Exactly,” Buck smiles back. “You’re pickin’ up what I’m putting down.” He sets the mini marshmallows in the cart and Eddie picks them up again.

“Yes, I am.”

“That is  _ not _ what I—”

Eddie eventually sends Buck off to get the rest of some basic groceries that he needs and are unrelated to their hot chocolate endeavors. He has a few things on his list that are across the store, so he hopes that it’ll take up enough of Buck’s time that Eddie can grab the rest of their special items before he comes back. 

He stares down the bag of mini marshmallows sitting next to the bag of regular ones. He can’t help but feel something stir inside his stomach at the fact that he and Buck were arguing over  _ marshmallows _ of all things. He kind of felt like he was turning into one. 

Buck made him both angry in ways that he’s never been but also softer than he’d ever felt with anyone before.

Though they’d been arguing back and forth the whole time, Eddie loved it. He loved the way they poked at each other. Hell, he loved simply shopping with him. It was fun and easy, and though it was the first time they’d ever shopped together, it was the first time it wasn’t for food at the station, and it felt right— like they’d been doing this his whole life.

He blames the stupid marshmallows.

He leans over the cart and points at the bag. “I will end you,” he whispers harshly.

A small packet drops next to him, and Eddie looks to his right and sees a little girl, hands still up and fingers shaped like they were just holding the packet. Her eyes are wide and she hesitantly steps back.

Eddie exits the aisle hastily before the girl can do something like scream.

“Okay,” he says approaching Buck. “I got the last of the—” He stops as he catches what Buck is looking at.

_ Almond milk _ .

“Buck, I love you, man, but we are not getting almond milk for hot chocolate.”

Buck turns, eyes wide, and Eddie catches the gallon of two percent milk that was hidden at his side.

“Oh, good,” Eddie comments. 

“Yeah,” Buck exhales. “The almond was maybe for me,” he explains quickly. “I wouldn’t get almond— not for— I mean I’m not—” Buck cuts himself off, and Eddie eyes him wearily.

“Buck, are you okay?” Eddie reaches his hand forward, but Buck jerks away. Eddie flinches, too, feeling like something’s happened that he missed. Buck is emitting big vulnerable vibes and it’s scaring him.

He looks around for a threat, trying to see if maybe there was someone who just said or did something to Buck, but he doesn’t find anyone.

“Do you want to wait in the car?” Eddie tries.

Buck nods and Eddie reaches into his pockets to grab his keys. He hands them over, and his friend sets the milk in the cart before taking off.

Not knowing what the hell just happened, Eddie rushes through the rest of his grocery list.

He makes sure to grab the almond milk for Buck before he heads to the register.

—

The car ride home is silent. Buck doesn’t speak until they reach the house and the engine is shut off.

“I’m sorry about that,” Buck says quietly. “Got carried away thinking about something.”

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks rather than try to guess at whatever Buck was thinking about.

“I think so,” Buck smiles at him. “It was nothing big anyway. I just got swept away by the currents.”

And it’s not the first metaphor that Buck has used in the last few months revolving around waves and water, but he doesn’t call him out on it. He knows Buck doesn’t have nightmares or any severe PTSD, but there are still times that Buck would act a certain way and make some comment like he just did.

“Did you make it back to shore, or do you need a lifeboat?” he tries to joke, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Oh, I already had a lifeboat,” Buck smirks. “I’ve had one for a while.” He says it honestly and seriously as if he’s been through this before and pulled himself out the same way.

“Alrighty then,” Eddie rolls with it. “We’ve got hot chocolate to make.”

But of course, it couldn’t be  _ just _ hot chocolate. Christopher wanted to watch the movie again, so they’d prepared their hot chocolate and settled in. 

While Buck was up still preparing his own cup, Eddie checked out his son’s creation and was somewhat taken aback by the marshmallows. In his mug were only one mini marshmallow and two regular ones. 

“Hey, Chris,” he nudges the boy and takes one of his own marshmallows into his mouth. “Why so few marshmallows?” he questions. “You’re supposed to put a lot.”

Christopher pokes at one of the regular-sized ones until it dips below the surface of the liquid. “One is you,” he explains then pokes the other. “The other is Buck. This small one is me. The mug is our home because we’re all here.” 

Eddie nearly chokes on the marshmallow.

“It’s not a lot,” Christopher goes on, “but it’s all I need.” 

Eddie can only blink as Christopher turns his attention back to the movie.

“What’d I miss?” Buck asks as he plops down on his son’s other side. The man’s mug is full of whipped cream and  _ many _ mini marshmallows. It’s also got one of the candy canes that Eddie had picked out and some chocolate drizzle. 

“Like you haven’t seen this movie enough to know line for line what you missed,” Eddie quips quickly.

Buck smiles back at him with a wide smile. “You bet. Now, drink up! Here, we only got one rule—”

“Never ever let it cool!” Chris cheers.

—

Christopher knocks out halfway through his hot chocolate and the movie.

Eddie looks towards him, slouched in his seat and legs curled up on the couch and feet pressing under Buck’s thighs. Buck looks and feels like he belongs there, at their sides.

Christopher’s words echo in his head. 

_ “It’s not a lot, but it’s all I need.” _

“Did you mean it?” Buck asks. 

Eddie moves his attention from Christopher to him, and the man looks much like he did in the store.

“What do you mean?” he questions.

Buck shakes his head and sits up, careful not to jostle Christopher. “Never mind,” he mutters. “It’s stupid.” He takes off for the kitchen and Eddie is quick to follow after him.

“Not ‘never mind,’” Eddie prodded. “I thought you were okay.”

Buck places his empty mug in the sink and shakes his head. “I am. I’m fine,” he says, though it sounds like a practiced lie.

“You know that you can talk to me about anything,” Eddie assures him. 

“Not everything,” Buck sighs and bites at his lip.

“Yes, everything—”

“Even if it means that I could lose this?” Buck challenges, motioning to the other room. “Even if it meant that I could lose our friendship?”

Eddie’s head jerks in surprise. “What could you possibly say that could risk you losing me and Chris?” 

Buck steps forward and jabs a finger into Eddie’s chest. “That maybe I love you, too,” he whispers. 

Eddie stares at Buck’s face. The man’s eyes are cast down to where his finger is pressed against him. He sees the man’s lips quaver before he speaks again. “That maybe I love you in a different way, and that terrifies me, not because I love you— that’s the fucking easiest thing I’ve ever done— but because loving you can ruin my relationship with you and Chris. Above all, you are my best friend first, and I love that kid as if he were my own, so I’m okay with you not feeling for me in the same way, but I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life.”

Buck backs off a second later, and Eddie’s mind reels, running through everything he just said. 

“Too,” Eddie whispers.

“What?” Buck breathes out. His eyes are red and he looks ready to run.

Eddie tries to find his voice before he can. “You said ‘too,’” he clarifies. “You said you love me,  _ too _ .”

Buck sniffles and hangs his head. “In the market, you said you love me. And I know it doesn’t mean the same thing for you because I’ve been down this road with people before. I think it’s something real, and then I get those casual ‘love you’s and—”

“I said that I love you?” Eddie asks.

“See, you don’t even remember because it was so insignificant—”

“It’s not,” Eddie cuts him off, stepping forward. “My love for you has never been casual,” he insists. “It’s all I could think about all fucking day,” he snaps. “I can say no to a movie, Buck, but once you insisted, it was my fucking  _ mission _ to watch it. You looked at the hot chocolate I chose and didn’t even realize hot chocolate could be made without that powdered shit, and all I wanted was to teach you how to make it. That banter in the store? It felt right. Fucking  _ shopping _ with you felt right and like you belonged there. I saw Christopher’s feet tucked under your thigh and thought about all the times I did that to my parents, and I thought  _ this is all I need _ .”

Eddie takes the last step forward, bringing them as close as they’d been all day. “I probably didn’t realize I said that because it felt natural and right.”

Buck doesn’t speak for a long moment, but Eddie is a patient man.

“You’re my lifeboat,” Buck finally says. “Today you said you loved me and all these memories of the tsunami came rushing back—”

“I’m sorry—”

“—because that’s when I realized I love you. You came to me the next day and said there was no one you trusted more with Christopher than me, and I realized how much I love Christopher and that I love you.”

“Chris says we’re marshmallows.”

Buck tilts his head in confusion. “I say all of that and you just—”

Eddie grabs his waist then and pulls Buck flush against his body and presses his lips to Buck’s. A surprised sound reverberates from the back of Buck’s throat and tickles his lips, but he doesn’t pull back.

Buck’s hand comes up to cup his face, and he holds him like he’s one of the most fragile things in the world.

They pull back after a moment, and even though it’s only been seconds, both men breathe heavily onto each other’s faces.

“I see you enjoyed the peppermint in your hot chocolate,” Eddie jokes.

“I saw that you enjoyed the tiny marshmallows,” Buck quips.

“You’re a tiny marshmallow.”

“If it means I’m soft for you, then yes, I am a tiny marshmallow.”

And though Eddie compared himself to one earlier, he can’t help but roll his eyes and look up to the ceiling dramatically. “Forgive me, father, for I am about to sin and beat the hell—”

Buck laughs loudly. He throws his head back and his laughter fills the air and settles like warmth in Eddie’s chest. 

He could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> Special Thanks to my beta reader: [ohmygodwerebackagain](https://ohmygodwerebackagain.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Shoutout if you can take a guess at what Eddie bought for hot chocolate that wasn’t powder! Haha ~ 
> 
> Also, a fun fact1: the original story for this day theme started out much more angsty and got too dark for the prompt, so I started from scratch and got this. I also started to question the existence and use of the word marshmallow because I wrote it so damn much.  
> Fun fact 2: I have had hot chocolate made with almond milk. it was o k at best. 4/10
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos! Reading your thoughts on the work always makes me smile (unless they’re mean so don’t be mean). If you feel I missed some necessary story tags, or have suggestions for others to help find this fic better, please let me know what it is I should add.


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